I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
