just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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