So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
