oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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