i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
