I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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