You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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