She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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