I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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