I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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