dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
