I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
