The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
