Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
