If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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