So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We got so high we made milksteak
this boner is exhausting
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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