so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
