Nicole vs. Life
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
