He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
