no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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