you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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