quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wanna passion pit in your ass
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Randomize
