This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Less talking, more tequila
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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