Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
