I heard we made out
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
