Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
