I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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