she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
