How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
