I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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