That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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