Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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