Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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