oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
