Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's blow job season.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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