Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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