I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
