we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
