I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
