he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
