How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Success! We fucked roommates!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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