bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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