But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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