Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
