i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
