Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
