A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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