"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I touched a dick in church today
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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