Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
