I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
