i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
