I think I am morally bankrupt
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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