Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
We smell like vodka and hangover
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
