I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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