Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
