Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
