dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
3 2 1 whiskey
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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